After spending three years lip-syncing for my life at Syracuse University, I was itching to GTFO and to seek refuge immediately! Naturally, I was drawn towards New York City: the land of riches and spoils. How could I not be? There was: great food, unique resources, a palpable sense of community, and [wait for it] a barrage of hot men for the choosin’! Being the corn-fed midwestern boy that I am, I was looking for a change of pace, a new challenge, and an entirely new scene. I was 1000% done with the arctic tundra known as Syracuse, NY. Totally over it. With a new city in the midst, I was ready to explore. Sure there were the landmarks, the mundane touristy things, and those cool places you’ve seen in the movies, but I was notably excited about testing out New York City’s dating scene. Living in a “gay Mecca” would have its benefits, right? Surely finding a date would be easy a pie… right? ABSOLUTELY NOT. In fact, my experience has been the opposite. While it has been easier to identify potential prospects, and just as easy to access GLBT communities and resources, many of the hurdles one may experience in navigating the dating scene still exist here. And, as tempting as it is to share the myriad of “Flavor of Love- like” stories I have, I have chosen to reflect upon my experiences and share this list of dating “do’s and dont's":
- It’s okay to be excited about meeting a new person! This is a natural feeling! Be engaged. Show interest… Nevertheless, it is NOT okay to spam he or she with text messages, FB chats, E-Mail, or tweets. I’m pretty sure this counts as harassment and is a crime punishable in most counties.
- If someone does text you, have the common courtesy to respond. Even if it is a “Sorry, I’m not interested.” It should not take 5 days to do so! Contrarily, don’t spaz if it takes more than 5 or 10 mins for someone to respond to you and your Scandal gifs.
- Before choosing to engage someone romantically, it’s an excellent idea to have a modicum of understanding as to who you are, what you want, and where you want to go. And, within that, be honest and upfront! There’s nothing more infuriating than getting to date 4 or 5 and learning that Tyrone is just “looking for friends.”
*insert vociferous side-eye here*
- If you and your partner decided to be sexually intimate, be responsible! While condoms are hella cheap, Gonorrhea (while curable) is not… Even if you have Obamacare.
- Be open to new things! Give your date a chance! Sure we all have our preferences, but understand that your “knight in shining armor” may not be a 6’9, Dominican Man, who was featured in “300.” You could, potentially, lose out on a lifetime of happiness because you can’t cope with the fact that your date has black hair and enjoys musicals.
- It is NEVER a good idea to show up to your first encounter drunk. Put down the 4-Loco.
- OH! And, since we’re here- hygiene, hygiene, hygiene! No one wants to do anything with anyone smelling like smegma and boiled eggs. Take the time to take care of yourself! Brush your teeth, wash your body, and clip those damn nails!
- It may help if you had something to talk about other than Beyoncé, death drops, and bible study. You see what happened to Laganja Estranja…
- Don’t let fear hold you back! 90% of those "what-ifs" floating around in your head are never going to happen. Take a deep breath and move forward!
- Have Fun! Dating is supposed to be a good time. Loosen up and enjoy the experience. No one likes a Cersei Lannister in public…